Christ Without Cliques: Excommunicated, Not Disconnected

Vanessa Eans
6 days ago
3 min read

I Used To Speak From Pulpits:

Now I Speak From The Soul

Yes — I was a pastor.

Yes — I was excommunicated.

And no — I didn’t walk away from Christ’s teachings.

I walked away from the walls built around them.

Religion Didn’t Raise Me — Spirit Did

The truth is, I didn’t grow up religious. And I thank God for that.

It gave me room to ask big questions.

To seek, sense, and stay curious without fear of retribution.

To experience mystical moments — like the one I had at age five — without having them instantly labeled or shamed. Ironically, it wasn’t until I entered the church at 29 that I truly learned what “religion” even meant.

I walked into church for two reasons:

To make sense of the mystical experiences I’d had all my life
To find others who felt Spirit the way I did

And for a while, I did.

I heard stories that stretched my soul.

I saw people lay bare their pain, their faith, their fire.

I experienced moments of deep reverence and belonging.

But I also saw power used to control, not to heal.

I saw hierarchy override humanity.

I saw cliques where there should’ve been communion.

I didn’t lose Christ — I lost patience for the politics built around his message.

The Bible, the Stars & What Got Me Kicked Out

These days, I rarely teach the Bible.

But make no mistake — I still love studying it.

Especially once I realized what I don't hear many don’t talk about:

the Bible is rich in astrological, mystical, and symbolic wisdom.

That discovery didn’t distance me from God — it deepened my devotion.

(maybe I'll write a bit about this in another blog post)

In fact, it affirmed what got me excommunicated in the first place:

That God is not a box, a building, or a boys-only club. That love is not earned by conformity — it’s remembered by resonance.

What I Believe Now

Truth is, these days, I don’t seek to believe — I seek to understand.

And if I believe in anything, it’s this:

That we can heal from religious trauma without erasing our faith. That you can reclaim Christ without the Cliques.

My Spiritual Philosophy

Christ Consciousness → a vibration of unconditional love, radical truth, and remembrance.

The Divine in All People → not based on belief systems, but on breath and being.

Mysticism Without Gatekeeping → because Spirit doesn’t require a middleman.

What I Don’t Do

✖️ I don’t weaponize God

✖️ I don’t use fear as a leash

✖️ I don’t shame you for doubting

✖️ I don’t believe any one path holds all the answers

✖️ I don’t believe anyone needs to shrink, perform, or assemble to be one with God.

Who I Serve

I walk with those who:

Were raised in religion but never felt safe in it
Still hear Christ whispering, but don’t know how to trust it anymore
Are spiritual, intuitive, or “too much” for traditional churches
Want to reclaim their gifts without shame, fear, or dogma

If that’s you — you’re not lost.

You’re listening.

The Wounded Faithful

The religious would call us backsliders. I call us the Wounded Faithful.

Not because we still believe in what hurt us — But because we never stopped listening for the truth underneath it all.

You don’t have to reject everything to heal. You only have to return to what’s still true beneath the pain.

If This Resonates, You're Home

And if it doesn’t?

You’re still welcome.

To believe as you wish. To speak how you want. To do as you will.

Either way, this is holy ground — but without the ugly church carpet and faithless words.

My only advice to anyone I come in contact with:

Keep the sacred. Leave the system.

With relentless love and realness, V